The often ignored skills behind great on-camera performances
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
- Marianne Williamson
Firstly a disclaimer. I love men - passionately, wildly, deeply. I’ve been incredibly lucky to have been surrounded by some of the best of men in my family, in my friendship circle, in my workplace and in my community. I just don’t give my precious time to the others. My favourite all time boss was a man. He oozed values, integrity and was bold and brave in standing up for what was right ALL of the time. He’s now a very senior govt person, but I’m not telling who he is - my little secret. Oh and the musician Nick Cave - if you haven’t checked out his redhandfiles.com please do - all you need there to live a full and worthwhile life. Just brilliant.
But back to women. Having trained senior boards of people across the world in how to manage their story, often under intense media scrutiny, I have noticed time and again a difference between how men and women approach this highly dangerous, but hugely potent, performance skill. Purely anecdotal, but this is often how it goes…
The men, even the quieter more reflective ones (who often make the best media spokespeople by the way) automatically assume that they are going to be great on camera even though this isn’t always the case. But, they are ready for the game - their approach is often “ OK I got this bit wrong but let’s try again.” They know how to fail well and to get up again and give it another go. A great approach to capturing that magical piece around charisma/confidence/authenticity/humour that is needed for a TV/video performance.
Women, on the other hand, (and don’t shoot me down I know there are tons of exceptions) are way more concerned about: what they look like often pointing to imaginary physical flaws, what they sound like, what their colleagues will think. They prepare beautifully, word perfect in fact, but they miss the need to jump in, to explore, to inject passion/humanity.
Great performances, both on and off camera - you know the ones that really inspire/change minds - are built on that heady cocktail of self belief, authority, vulnerability. They are underpinned by a performer who knows how to harmonise their body language, their words and the tone of their voice and deploy the right levels of tone and energy. TV/video is especially challenging here as one is limited in a small box and the camera acts as probing microscope amplifying any parts of the performance that are off key. Add in an inquisitive, often ill-informed journalist, and it’s a tough gig for the majority of people.
Getting good at speaking/telling stories, both on and off camera and to different sized audiences, is a real professional and personal super power. Personally I worry in this world of working from home, which is so fantastic for families in so many ways, that women will suffer more on the visibility issue. And visibility matters very much - if we aren’t visible we start to lose our voice/power and in a world where progress is being squeezed hard by a skills/talent shortage we can’t afford to let this happen. You skills and talents are needed now more than ever.
At Rock My Age we are passionate about skilling up as many women, of all ages and backgrounds, as possible in being able to raise their voice in whatever way they want in ensuring that they can meet their potential and hopefully also use it to work towards a better workplace/community/world. This is especially important if you have been given unhelpful messages in the past such as: ‘be quiet, wait your turn, oh aren’t you bossy? ” or anything that has made you feel less than/an outsider in anyway.
But in my experience, like everything in life, this kind of skill takes time to build and I don’t believe in “faking it until you make it” - it just doesn’t work like that. That camera is a magnet to anything that isn’t authentic, so the skill to great camera performances is working on your self, your life story, your accomplishments and your value in the world way before you get anywhere near a camera.
There was a great piece around the term “Girl Boss” on Radio 4 Women’s Hour last week. A selection of female leaders warning against this in your face you can do/be whatever you want mentality. Instead they advised women to get steely about their accomplishments, build a fabulous resume full of facts and thought through stories and then ensure you internalise this before you take it out there. This is a life’s work, a little like journalling, building up you inner story, self belief with hard facts and experience. Believe me once you’ve done that the camera, and so many other things, will be a hell of a lot easier and way more fun.
Some (usually ignored) tips for on-camera performance and general confidence
write down all of your accomplishments. One of mine was getting myself back into the workplace after suddenly becoming a single parent with no income and big bills to pay. Turning this round, and this was very dicey at times, is high there amongst my greatest achievements. Of course add how you persuaded a board to change direction and follow your lead or won that seemingly impossible piece of business - but don’t forget the personal stuff.
remember the foundation of your story is your personal brand. Your personal brand is built by a deep well thought out set of principles, values and achievements. It is your greatest protection and your most potent sales tool.
once you have your personal story, keep adding to it as you move through life. Maybe use themes such as resilience, bounce back, what I learnt, when things went wrong. Look for themes and lessons learnt and see if you can try out some different ways of approaching the things you found difficult.
share your story often and don’t be afraid to fail. The research continually tells us that women are held back because they don’t know how to fail well. Some people won’t like you, won’t want to listen, may think you’re a “grandstander” “self-promoter”. Don’t listen share it anyhow and keep building and re-crafting as you move through life.
adopt a growth mindset. Instead of squirming in a difficult meeting try sitting back and thinking about what you can learn. Who you see as behaving with maturity and grace and who isn’t. Try putting yourself in their shoes and get curious like a psychologist - think about what is behind their behaviour and how they could have done this differently.
be bold. Always.
Rock My Age offers a suite of coaching and workshops around on and off camera performances. Debbie@rockmyage.com for a confidential discussion about your requirements.
